Here is an interesting article by Gregg Swanson on Concentration, Wealth and Personal Success:
Have a wonderful Easter weekend!
Malcolm
Here is an interesting article by Gregg Swanson on Concentration, Wealth and Personal Success:
Have a wonderful Easter weekend!
Malcolm
Hello,
Ego is a terribly misunderstood word.
Many believe "ego" is a very bad thing, yet we are informed by other sources the low self esteem is also a contributing factor in various personal issues.
So, what is the truth about Ego and what is it really for?
For me, ego is a person's sense of themselves. In itself, it is not a good or bad thing, it just is. Properly managed and nurtured, the ego is the drive to achieve and makes us proud of our own achievements. As long as it is kept in balance with other aspects of life, ego can be a very valuable attribute.
So, what is boasting? This is where you are proud of an achievement and you make it known. Usually with lots of enthusiasm and maybe at some volume! This is the formula one racing driver shaking the bottle of champagne, the soccer player doing cartwheels, etc. It is an enthusiastic outburst of achievement.
The difference here is "make more of". Whereas ego often clouds the truth, boasting is a known exaggeration. Unlike to possible untruth of ego, boasting is a knowingly performed overstatement. It is also a huge make more of, and therefore improves mood and future performance.
Go on, have a big boast about something you have achieved recently. Even if is seems daft to shout about it, it will sure make you feel good!
Have a wonderful extended weekend.Malcolm
Hello,
How are you doing connected to your dreams and aspirations?
If you are truly progressing well, congratulations. You can stop reading here and just keep doing what you are doing.
If you read past the above, then you must be admitting to not doing as well as you would like in attaining your dreams and aspirations. Welcome to a club with many, many other members.
So, why don't people make as much progress as they would like to in attaining their life goals?
There are many answers to this question. Today I would like to concentrate on just one aspect. Being stopped.
Being stopped can be really frustrating because you believe that the cause for the stop is not down to you. Something external is preventing you from progressing. The actual reaction to being stopped in this way can vary depending on how you perceive the source of the stop. It may be a person or group, lack of resources, rules, or a myriad of other things. One reaction is to build up resentment and anger towards the perceived source. Another reaction is to simply forge ahead anyway, "butting heads" with what is opposing you.
The real truth here is that the only thing that can stop you is you. You must consciously give up on your dreams or aspirations. At this point you have gone into agreement with your own negative view of your self. As this is actually a lie, to maintain you own honor you now must reduce your own power and take on a smaller game. If you do this once, you will most likely set a pattern for the future and are likely to continue doing it. Before you know it, you have completely given up all your ambitions and are settling for a "safe" existence in a forever dwindling universe.
I don't know about you, but this does sound very depressing. You, an infinitely powerful being with an abundance of potential greatness, have agreed to be less than infinite. Yuck! Let's get away from this thinking and back to the positive.
So what is the answer to this malaise?
The real deal here is to look at all the steps you can do towards reaching your dreams. Build a powerful list of all your positive attributes that align with your dreams and aspirations. Make more of all of these and look at how you can make them even more powerful. All it actually takes to reach fabulous achievement is simply continuing to take your next correct step. Even if these steps are small, by continuing to take them you will eventually reach your aim.
Now I have a big challenge for you, if you are up to it, that is.
For the next month, every time you have negative thoughts about reaching your dreams, stop and write down all the positive aspects of your progress toward that dream. If you do this truthfully, I completely guarantee the results will surprise you and could actually be nothing short of miraculous.
Let me know how the challenge goes for you. I'd love to hear all about it.
Have a breakthrough week,
Malcolm
Hello,
Maybe you are familiar with this scenario:
A friend or colleague tells you about all the trouble they are having with a certain person. They are upset because of something this person did or said. They tell you it is so unfair because they did nothing to deserve it.
Now, it is almost certain that you may be inclined to sympathize with their viewpoint, after all, you are closely connected with them and you care about how they feel and like to be a "good friend" to them.
Well, lets step back and examine this situation. Is not blaming someone else for a condition the strategy of a victim? By agreeing with your friend or colleague, you effectively take their side as a victim. The real situation has not resolved, they are still stuck with it. So it becomes a stalemate. In fact, the more agreement, the more stuck they become. Now there is joint vested interest in staying "victims".
A lose / lose outcome indeed.
Now, lets examine what a winner would do. Firstly, winners realize they are responsible for their condition. They do not blame, and they actively look for ways they could make a positive out of the situation. One way would be to open honest communication with the "difficult" person and ask them what their view is. If their is too much live emotion to do that, they may ask a neutral third party to mediate. Whatever actual direction getting into communication takes, this at least opens the dialogue. By not taking sides and asking everyone to agree with their viewpoint, but engaging in positive action, there definitely is more chance of a win / win outcome.
The truth is; there are no victims, just frustrated winners pretending to be victims. Why not decide to lose the frustration and be the winner you are, no matter what?
Have an excellent week
Malcolm
Hello,
Over the course of my life I have been connected to many people. These connections came from family, school, business, and the majority, by just meeting people. My address book currently has 1028 entries. Allowing 30% of these to be purely business related, that leaves over 700 individuals. This means I could talk to a different person every day for nearly two years before having to call the first one again.
My wife Liz is a true friend, so is my Mother, my Sister and my Son. Of all the others, being completely truthful, I probably share true friendship with two dozen people.
So we are clear, I need to define what I mean by "true friendship". A true friend is only concerned in helping the other person get what they want. There is no hidden agenda in true friendship. True friendship is defined not by what happens when two people agree, but by what happens when their viewpoints differ.
This week has given me the opportunity to examine the area of friendship in a little more detail. From last Tuesday to Saturday morning we had the honor to provide hospitality for a Rotarian couple visiting from South Africa. Although Liz and I had never met Shan and John before last Tuesday, we spent four delightful days in their company showing them around Rochester and the surrounding area. In that time we developed a firm friendship based on the shared aims of Rotary and a joint desire to enjoy many of the activities our geographical area has to offer.
In direct contrast, today I was saddened that another two friendships may come to a rather abrupt end due to my own rather short sighted actions. After examining the truth of what had transpired, I realized that I may have been trying to "clever" and "right" in several of the interactions. Not the actions of a true friend at all. Although I am saddened at the prospect of losing two friendships, I do know if I am really honest with myself and am prepared to fully apologize, if this is a true friendship, then it will be repaired in due course.
Here's to an abundance of True Friendships for everyone.
Have a great week,
Malcolm
Hello,
Over the years I have connected to many wonderful people who have helped me become a better person. This has been through just meeting them, becoming friends with them, using their professional services or any combination of the above.
As I look over the last year, the most significant events have been very much tempered by these connections. Those events that could have been mediocre flourished and those that could have been disastrous were mostly rendered benign. I have an long list of things and people I am grateful for. (more on that in the future post).
I was working with one of these connections yesterday in a coaching session and something very profound came up for me which I really want to share.
We were discussing my reluctance to taking action in an area I knew was vitally important to my future. In response. my coach asked this $2M question: "What has 'not wanting to do something' have to do with it? This hit me right between the eyes. My surprised and immediate answer was, "Nothing". Just at that moment, the entire area of self-created avoidance came to view. I realized that this was the source of all past reluctance, and all the upset and turmoil I created connected to it. I had falsely connected liking something with it's importance. There is no such connection.
The point here is what I like is based on my personal opinion. What is important is not, It is based on fact. Moreover, what is important in life is not personal to me, it is personal to those I am connected to. When I serve a customer, they are the most important, not me. What I like or dislike about them or their behavior is completely irrelevant.
To quote the powerful Rotary motto, I am now getting very excited discovering all the ways I can put "Service Above Self".
Cheers,
Malcolm
At 9:55am on the 27th November 2009, Alan C Walter passed from this realm onto another. As was his life, his passing was an event he experienced with lucidness and good humor. He has not gone, just turned the page onto another chapter of his continued existence.
I recall meeting him in person for the first time back in September 2002. The course room was full of excited individuals, some who were on a continuing journey to be all they can be, others who had just started on their road to know more about themselves. Although I had heard from my fellow students that Alan’s live lectures were a not to be missed, one of a kind experience, I had heard him on tape. No big deal. Was I in for a surprise! It was a very memorable experience. From the first line he delivered, it seemed he had chosen the most relevant subject for me and was delivering it just to me. That was Alan. He was there to serve. He was there to educate. He was there to enlighten. It was one of those rare moments when you know you are in the right place at the right time. It was electrifying.
As I continued my studies of the material Alan put together on how to be all you can be, I continue to be blown away, not just by the quality of the material, but the sheer combination of its quality and vastness. Alan dedicated 18 hours a day for almost 50 years to build the greatest body of knowledge available anywhere on how to truly be in control of your own destiny. It covers almost every aspect on every plane. And what is more, it empowers the student to learn by action, to power forward and further expand their knowledge above and beyond that. Much of his later material is the product of collaborative research; the student working with the master to create the optimum learning outcome.
Of all the things Alan has passed onto me, it is deep sense of joy in how people can grow to work together to accomplish anything. All the greatest moments in human existence are not down to the efforts of one, but of the many, all working towards a single, powerful goal. There are many examples of this, such as putting a man on the moon and the eradication of smallpox.
In closing, I want to express my deep thanks and gratitude to you Alan. You have helped me in ways I could never have imagined to be a better person. Your life’s work will continue. It is our privilege as your students to serve as you did and ensure we apply and grow the knowledge you selflessly passed to us.
With loving gratitude,
Malcolm Bugler
Hello,
In common with many people, I usually have a lot of different actions I need to pack into a day. Some are major tasks that take up a significant amount of time; others are minor, maybe just “housekeeping” actions. So I can maintain order, I use a schedule to organize how the tasks fit into the day.
During most days, I am up against an enemy that many of you are aware of. It has the potential to completely ruin all my plans. The enemy is procrastination.
You see, even if I put stuff in the schedule, it does not automatically get done. I have to take the action. If it is something I enjoy doing, then I usually have no difficulty executing the task at the scheduled time. However, if it is something I do not enjoy or that I may have difficulty with, there is a very large temptation to “do it later”. My experience is if I re-schedule a task because I have procrastinated, it gets re-scheduled again and again. Many just “fall off the map” after a couple of iterations!
Sound familiar?
So, how do we handle this?
The real secret is to have a very powerful reason to get all the tasks completed. Making them all stepping stones towards a big dream or goal can generate a lot of momentum. The bigger the dream or goal, the bigger to momentum created. Because procrastination is much lower on the mood scale than the momentum and energy created by a huge, powerful vision, no task seems difficult.
Take your first step today in creating that huge, powerful vision of what you want your life to be. The bigger the dream and vision, the bigger the game and the more powerful actions you will need to take. You are definitely on the right track if your mood starts to rise as build the vision. By the time you have the vision set firmly in your mind, the steps to create it will become more clear. Setting task to accomplish those steps should fall right into place and as hey are so relevant, there will be no procrastination.
Have a great week
Malcolm
Hello,
There is a saying: "Life is unpredictable, eat your dessert first".
This has always amused me, not because it is actually what I believe is a good advice, but it parallels the actions of the majority.
This attitude is also the reason why those people are fundamentally unsuccessful. They put their future in the hands of others when they do the easy thing first. Those who tackle the difficult first get to be the top performers. I believe the ratio between the former and the latter is 90% to 10%.
What truly makes life difficult is swapping priorites: Putting what you most enjoy ahead of what you you actually need to do, but could put off doing. This is the salesman who knows he should make 20 calls to new prospects, but instead he spends the afternoon on the golf course with an existing customer or even a buddy.
Why not get the difficult stuff out of the way first? Concentrate on it and get it done. Put all the "tedious" stuff first in the calendar ahead of the fun stuff. This encourages one to focus on getting really good at it, thereby reducing the time spent doing it. Funny thing is that the more one does this, the more enjoyable it gets. Most of the time not enjoying doing something is because of lack of expertise, stemming from lack of practice doing it.
I myself love to wash dishes and iron shirts. Really exciting stuff, I know! This was not always the case. At one time I hated these activities. I just decided that the only way to handle it was to "get them out of the way"; to get so good at them that what was 30 minutes of drudgery now takes 5-6 minutes. The joy came as I learned to do them well. The better I get the more I enjoy it.
So, set up your day to tackle at least one or two of the more difficult tasks first. Do this on a gradient and work towards putting every difficult task ahead of the fun ones. One day you will run out of "challenging tasks". When that happens, you can start raising your game, looking to "kick it up a notch".
Have an awesome week
Malcolm
Hello,
I had a sudden realization over the weekend. It came after I was looking at a phenomenon I have noticed recently on Facebook. Some people post when they are happy, others post when they are upset, sometimes very upset!
This enticed me to look at the real reason behind upset, why does it occur? You can be going along in life very nicely and all of a sudden, flash, you are upset. What causes this to happen and why so suddenly?
I started to look behind this. It occurred to me that to have an upset, you must be expecting something to go one way and it does not follow your plan. So upsets are related to missed expectations. Ah Ha! I thought, (a quite big Ah Ha, in fact)
Taking this forward a bit, expectations are related to goals and aspirations. So for there to be an upset, there must have been a dream of goal that was denied in some way. This is the Setup, a vision of your desires projected out into the future containing all the steps necessary to make it happen. As happiness is the progressive realization of worthwhile dream or goal, following a great setup creates abundant happiness.
For example, you have your heart set on going to the first baseball game of the season with your son. Tickets purchased and everything planned. You are excited and really looking forward to is. The morning of the game, your boss calls you up and says, “A prospective customer with a very large account is coming in today and I need you to attend a dinner in his honor tonight. I know I can rely on you. I’ll see you at the LaBella restaurant at 7pm sharp tonight”. Your heart sinks, know you will have to give up the game and also tell your son the bad news. You agree with your boss to attend. Immediately you feel upset. Your dream is shattered. Your setup has been thwarted by an event outside your control.
Here is the sequence:
Setup - Your vision of what you desire projected into the future. A strong and vivid setup drives you forward. Great visions of you and your son enjoying a ball game together.
Targets - The stepping stones along the way to attaining that dream or goal. These steps are part of the complete plan. Set the date, buy the tickets, setup the time to leave for the game.
Distractions - Things that get in the way of you achieving those targets. They can also be referred to as disruptors. The call from your boss.
Upset - Distractions have caused a target to be missed. You are now off track and may miss the entire setup.Disappointment in missing the game.
Let’s take a deeper look at what happened in our example. Was the event truly out of your control? Well, not exactly. It wasn’t a hurricane or a flood, or any other unavoidable disaster. You could have held your position and explained to your boss that this was an important family event. Better still, you could have built an understanding with your boss from the time you took the position that for you, family comes first and work second. So, the real issue was the setup and your certainty of it, not the distraction and the resulting upset.
The strange thing is that when upset, most people concentrate on trying to fix the upset, not correct the setup. And this is why concentrating on fixing the upset does not actually correct the situation. It only handles the effects, not the cause. By going back to the setup and examining exactly why the target was truly missed, optimum corrective action can be taken to realign the setup and happiness will reign once more.
Have an excellent week
Malcolm
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