Hello,
A couple of events this week reminded of the difference in attitude and outlook between people who have been programmed by their environment and upbringing that life is competitive and is is essential to have winners and losers, and others who, even at a comparative disadvantage, naturally have a totally opposite viewpoint.
One event was the story recounted by a friend about how his son's school soccer team are driven by the coach and teaching staff to be totally competitive, completely ignoring the fun aspect of the game. Every match against another school is taken very seriously. There must be a winner and a loser and each team must win and not lose. At first this seems to be preparing students for the "big wide world" where almost everything is competitive. However, it is just perpetuating a society where winning is everything. By making everything so one-sided, it completely removes attainment of mastery. The quest for mastery requires the student to make mistakes and have many, many failures. Winning at all costs has no part in the attainment of mastery. His story identified the massive mood swings experienced by the members of the team, coaches and parents between having a goal scored against them; dejected and crest-fallen, and scoring themselves; elation and cockiness. Such wild mood swings remove all joy from the process of learning a game, making it totally serious and highly stressful.
The other story is from our local Special Olympics where I was MC for the opening ceremony this weekend. It was such a joy to experience the high mood and genuine friendship of the athletes, coaches and volunteers.The Athletes Oath for Special Olympics is very powerful
and completely exemplifies the point that winning is not
everything:
"Let me win, but if I can not win, let me be brave in
the attempt"
This oath was played out fully in last years local games where there were several athletes lined up for the 100 meters race. When the starting pistol sounded, all but one got off to a good start. This athlete fell just off the starting line. The other athletes seemed to sense this, first one stopping and then all the others.They all walked back to the fallen athlete, picked him up, and then walked arm in arm to the finish line.The applause from the other athletes, coaches and spectators was defining and went on for a full 5 minutes.The mood level for the rest of the games was through the roof which kind of says it all.
So, winning is never everything. What is more important is the sharing of experiences and the joy of progressively attaining mastery by simply doing your best. The only competition should be you against yourself. That is a game everyone can win.
Have a great week
Malcolm
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